If you’ve reached the wonderful age of 25 let’s just start by giving you a round of applause! You have made it to the phase of life defined as a “crisis” involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one’s life.
This past year leading up to inevitable big 25 has been filled with closed doors, roadblocks, and detours. But, I have learned so much about myself that I believe that it can help anyone that is feeling that way. Let me tell you sis you’re going to make it through this chapter, if you follow the following:
Network, Network, Network
Join your local girl gang or a millennial women’s group or just a badass clan of women who support other women. There is no specifics to how you chose to network but, before you shut that laptop off and go home to cry into a tub of talenti gelato while guzzling a $6 bottle of pinot because you hate the thought of waking up in the morning going to the job you hate, speaking from personal experience. Join a group! I have joined so many my schedule has been packed lately. You never know who you might meet at the functions these groups hold. I am currently in my new job role because of this very fact. I wasn’t going to let myself wallow in pity at home alone. Get out there share with others where you are at and where you want to be. No one is going to change your life but you. So get out there get comfortable with the uncomfortable because at the end of the day you are just missing out on so many opportunities.
Get a Side Hustle Shawty
This one is literally a must (unless you’re making hella dough, get it girl) even if it’s more of a hobby for you versus income just do something on the side that you love and look forward to doing. It can be volunteering or nannying something just make sure that it’s something that feeds the part of your soul that your 9-5 doesn’t. During my years in college I thrived and loved working in a boutique. So, I recently started working in an upscale one after I slid in their DM’s on Instagram and I love it. I just pick up shifts when I can, work alternating weekends, and the extra cash helps.
Don’t Stick With Your Degree
Everyone thinks just because you spent thousands of dollars gave up 4 or 5 years of your life to get a piece of piece paper you have to stick with a job within your field of study. Let me just say if you do that is great! But, if you don’t feel fulfilled in the field of you degree it is totally okay to change careers. Now I’m not saying going from a marketing degree to a nursing career but if you want to go back to school do it. I totally stumbled my way into the many jobs and different fields I have worked in. I graduated with a PR degree and I have worked roles that don’t go with my degree due to circumstances out of my control AKA getting laid off from a job I was at for 2 years due to budget cuts. This came out of nowhere left be in the “crisis” that they say 25 brings. I felt like I was in an infomercials saying “I need a job and I need it now”. I literally worked in sales not like those guys that come to your parent’s door selling kitchen knives but actually stuffy office following up, annoying, being that person on the phone sales. Every day I was still job hunting while I was in between jobs and now I am working for an advertising agency. I am not within my degree for the title I have, they usually want someone with a business or math degree. But, I went into this field and crushed my interview showed I was eager to learn and now I am here. So never lose hope while facing adversity because what is meant for you is specifically meant for only you.
Be Your Own Hypewomen
This point is one that my therapist gave to me. Yes I go to therapy and I suggest everyone go because even if you aren’t going through a life crisis it’s nice to get advice from someone on the outside looking in. She told me one day during the many breakdowns I had in front of her versus on my couch with wine and gelato, that I need to stop waiting for someone to save me. When she said save me I thought I am not dying ma’am. But she went on to explain that I am being my biggest failure, I am letting myself down, and I am setting unrealistic expectations for myself. It snapped for me now it wasn’t like I left the session and had a come to Jesus moment, it did help me get myself going. I have never been an affirmations persons never believed in it, neve practiced it, thought all those Instagram post of people talking about it was dumb. But, I now have to admit it works! My therapist gave me a task to write 10 things I want to feel about myself and say them daily in front of a mirror. I was feeling that this task was challenging for me at the time because I didn’t feel so good about myself I couldn’t think of anything good. So I turned to the handy dandy Google and found a list of 10 daily affirmations for women. I printed the list off and I taped it to my mirror and for 28 days (it takes that long to break a habit) I read them every day as I got ready and oh did things starts to change. Now my list is about 30 affirmations and I have completely changed my way of how I think of myself, my body, my worth…etc. the list goes on but the power of affirmations has turned me into my own hypewomen. Just like the wise words of Beyonce “Me, myself, and I, that’s all I got in the end”, its true if you can’t love yourself there’s no way no one else will.
Stop Comparing Your Journey to Others
Now this is tip is HUGE. Just because Jessica (fake name in no relation to anyone that I know personally) is getting engaged or married, has a golden doodle, has a fine man, and a kid coming in the New Year. Doesn’t at all mean you can’t have those things or want them, it’s just not your time yet. I feel like socials have really propelled us into this thinking that we are not on track or that we need to have x,y,and z in this order to be happy or live a good life. That what sucks about this whole digital age we need to stop comparing our journey to those we see online or who are in our lives. NO ONE IS YOU…take that in NO ONE has your name, has gone through your ups and downs, and NO ONE will but you. This is your story to tell and just because you’re not at the stage that your parents, friends, and family think you should be who cares. If you are happy, thriving, and living your truth then LIVE your life sis.
I hope that this has helped anyone going through a quarter life crisis. I just wanted you to be able to take away from this that you’re not alone, there are many of us out here going through what you are, and don’t be afraid to reach out and connect. Also, remember this is only temporary this is not forever.
Live your truth.